In The Silent Ranks

Inspiration!

2012-01-24T20:31:00.000-08:00

Ciera's 12th Birthday!

2012-01-23T17:41:00.001-08:00

We had a little home celebration for Ciera's birthday! It will hold her over til her Chuck E Cheese party! She asked to make salad, home made pizza, & cake. And I mean as in she makes it! She loves to bake & cook! We have her just a few presents until her birthday party!

The Changes Of The Season

2012-01-23T12:05:00.001-08:00

So many amazing changes on this journey of life! I started 2 weeks ago working out hard with Brian while he was on leave. He's back to work today. ( I miss him!) 12 days ago I could not make it from stop sign to stop sign w/o stopping to breath! It took me 40 mins. of walking in between to get 11 mins. of running in. Today-day 12- i ran 17 mins. only needing to walk 11 mins. ( keep in mind its almost all very large hills in my neighborhood!) I started this all on a wing & a prayer. Its amazing what you can do with God on your side. Its only 3pm and I've burnt 500 calories already today! I have more workouts & strength training to go yet! Oh and it was pouring rain also! lol
I'm going to keep pushing it until I can run long distances without a problem!

Today we are celebrating Ciera's birthday at home to hold her over til her Chuck E Cheese party. She chose to make home made pizza, salad, & cake. She loves to cook & bake!

Yup, that's me on day 12! Photo Compliments of Ciera who went with me for her gym class. She rode her scooter, which is a workout in itself!

There are so many changes taking place and I feel so good about the positivity of it all! My moods have so picked up from working out! By night time I'm exhausted with a great feeling of satisfaction! I'm cleaning my life out of part time, fake-butt friends, pious, hypocritical people, fake people, and any negativity at all. I'm honestly learning you cannot fly if people are constantly holding you down, even if its just mentally. I have a couple of AWESOME friends who are so kind, uplifting, encouraging, and supportive. They just make you feel like you want to be a better person from being near them. I'll be leery in the future of what types of friends I will accept as close friends. If I wanted weighed down, I'd definitely tie sandbags to my own ankles, but that's not what God creates us for. It does seem absurd how hard it is to find true friends, but as you do find them ~ you learn to be ever so grateful! I'm finished with cycles of bringing people back into my life to find out nothing really has changed at all. It takes guts to change things and some just don't have the battle within them. It seems easier to cling to the negativity, excuses, and drama. I can't do it. Its not good for me mentally or physically. So here's to phase one of my journey and trying to keep excelling at fitness and my relationship with God. I could not have done the last 12 days without his help! (If you scroll down you will see pics of day 1 and day 10 for my first progress!)

I'm often asked how I'm dieting, mainly following the Atkins!

and how to work out? Well kind of like this!

yes!

2012-01-22T20:39:00.001-08:00

day 1-10 pics from working out!

2012-01-22T08:49:00.000-08:00

I've been working my tail off the last ten days! I've been trying to burn between 600-1000 calories a day in cardio and strength training. I have a lot of stomach problems, including chron's (so I can't have fiber, grains, nuts, or lactose per GI Specialist) so that's why I keep my diary private, most wouldn't understand why there are very little veggies eaten if they came past my diary and peeked. I basically follow the Adkins diet but I do add in a bit more complex carbs since I've been working out hard. Eating for me is tricky due to the stomach woes.

Anyhow, even though I'm mortified of day 1 picture, I wanted to share to give others hope that we will get there with hard work and determination! (and just a heads up NO! I am not pregnant! I just had a large belly)I'm proud of myself - I have never worked out hard in my life, I haven't ran in about 18 years unless you count running after kids, *lol* and I guess I just didn't believe in myself enough. The past ten days I have been strength training, running, walking, xbox kinect, and boxing (sparring) mainly. Oh yeah, that was before I cleaned the bedroom, too! sorry!

Here is day 1 pic and day 10! Hubby's a soldier and pretty much put my duff through his own boot camp. He is an awesome supporter, motivator, and great at fitness! I'm excited about the results and decided to capture it in pictures and to measure myself, b/c working out this hard, the scale does not want to budge at all!

As Brian says, "There's nothing to it, but to do it!" I can't thank him enough for the awesome person he is. One of my goals is to run a 5k with him in the near future after I lose a bit more and gain more endurance from working out, I worried for a second and said "But what if I come in last place? Wont you be embarrassed?" He says "You wouldn't be in last place, I'd slow down and let you cross before me" I fall in love with him a million times a day, even after 15 years together!

Week 1 equals DONE!

2012-01-19T20:03:00.001-08:00

Week one...CHECK! Stayed on track, focused, and working out hard. So far this week I've spent my days running, boxing (well sparring...FUN stuff!), walking, lifting weights, xbox kinect workouts, ect. I'm under the allotted 1300 calories a day & burning between 600-900 a day! (using my fitness pal to track) Oh man, for a girl who hasn't worked out in 18 years (unless you count toting a couple of kids or dogs around) I DID IT! I'll spare you the details about the dry heaves, the crying jag, or the yelling at hubby "Your killin me, Smalls!" haha! I'm so happy! I'm down 7-9 lbs (damn scale, no matter where you move it and zero it out, it changes) and I've lost inches already! -1/2 inch from neck, 1 1/2 from chest (really, I could keep the boobs! for real!) - 1 1/2 inches from waist....Ready to knock out week 2!

love this!

2012-01-19T19:46:00.000-08:00

Week 1

2012-01-18T16:15:00.001-08:00

Week one is down, despite obstacles I face ( stomach issues, sciatic nerve, a pulled muscle) i've managed to burn between 900-1200 calories a day through working out! I've focused on running, walking, boxing-sparring, strength training, ect. I'm really happy it makes you feel good to be determined, to feel satisfaction, & to earn it the right way without going hungry! Ciera has jumped on board with us, too. I think my favorite is the sparring! We bought weighted gloves! So first week down here's my results:
Lost between 7-9 lbs ( I rely on measurements more than the scale! I've lost 1 1/2 inches from waist, 1 1/2 inches from chest, & 1/4 inch from my neck! Yayy!!! Heres an example of my fitness pal diary- im proud of the excercise calories burnt!

Half The Battle

2012-01-17T14:28:00.001-08:00

They say believing in yourself is half the battle... That is the truth! First week almost complete and check out todays calorie burn from running, walking, lifting weights, & aerobics- 969 calories burnt! Brian makes a great trainer!

One Small Victory!

2012-01-15T05:54:00.000-08:00

The girl who couldn't stand to sweat not only works out at least 2 hours a day (completed 3 hours yesterday with Brian!) but I've also started to run again! I think the smallest victory, but the most important, is believing you can! I gave up sugar / flour this week, I've made a lot of bad choices with food, weight management, and smoking the last 18 years or so....not to mention it was 16 degree's here when I ran yesterday! If I can do it, anyone can! The 2nd victory will be sticking with it and I go through the 28 day sugar withdrawal (ugh, who know that was so awful!) I'm not holding myself back anymore, so wish me luck!

Sugar Withdrawals

2012-01-14T07:22:00.000-08:00

Who knew withdrawing from sugar in a diet caused so many problems? It takes roughly 28 days to get out of your system and for you to start feeling better. Often it is considered an addiction in high amounts b/c it releases dopamine in the brain (a pleasure hormone). Here's the list of withdrawal symptoms: (and yes Ive had many right down to the itchy skin! Never again! You won't ever find me doing this to myself again! I'm on the road to recovery but I wont lie, its been rough! I have been trying to work out 2 hours a day, but I will say this fatigue is awful!

Bad breath
Constipation
Achy, flu-like feeling
Fatigue
Headaches
Hunger
Irritability
Itchy skin
Nausea
Offensive body odor
Sleep difficulties (too much or too little)

Note To Self!

2012-01-13T07:40:00.001-08:00

I gained a good amount of weight back over the holidays, stepped on the scale & was completely disgusted! I started adkins a week ago & started working out two hours a day! ( oh the xbox kinect has been awesome! It finds muscles I no longer knew I had!) My goal is to be running by spring! I lost 10 lbs on week one! I've been in such a happy mood- the girl who didnt like to workout has found so many great benefits to it that I can't imagine turning back now!!!
Note to self -

First Job Nightmare

2012-01-12T07:45:00.000-08:00

Haley's first job turned into a complete nightmare, but I think her dad and I anticipated that it may considering how her interview went. We advised her we would not take this job after her interview but I had a very overbearing mom that got her on the phone and convinced her to take it for various reasons. One of the reasons being that "Maybe God is placing Haley there to teach the store manager about kindness" (Ok, enough with the religious guilt trips. We aren't the jerk whisperer's!) She went against what her dad and I said and took it. It has been a nightmare since the interview. As soon as she got into the car from the interview she cried. (We're talking about an emotionally stable teen here to boot). The store manager who had interviewed her make belittling & condescending remarks (clear down to making fun of her shoes, ect. She dressed up for the interview. It was her first interview ever at 16 & wanted to impress them!) So then she began working for them. In the time span of 4-5 months she has been belittled, degraded, and took condescending remarks every shift. He seems to find enjoyment in punishing her and we also see him doing it to other workers there and we have definitely noticed that this man guns for the shy, meeker kids. A lot of the kids will say he does do this, but the quiet ones really take it. (There is also another boy in their friend circle that complains about this matter b/c he deal with it a lot himself). So far among other things she has been called "A stuck up snob" by the store manager b/c she didn't realize a shift manager had a baby and he told her "If she wasn't such a stuck up snob, she's ask questions". Haley is very shy and more introverted, most who know her would agree fully! He likes to place her on probation (which is a whole other story I'll explain) and then refer to her as "The Little Delinquent" (anyone who knows Haley would say that is not her personality at all). The drawers (as in starting drawers keep coming up short or over, but mostly short.) There seems to be an ongoing issue where the morning shift manager can't seem to count correctly between 35.00 & 50.00!) Let's go back to 4th grade seeing as they have a calculator, right?! When she is given a drawer and made sign for the amount, there is no way to prove what is or isn't in that starting drawer. But she is expected to use it and sign for it, but not allowed to count it out herself to make sure its correct even with them all having knowledge that these drawers are short (or way over has happened to others). So then her drawer comes up a few bucks short and they put the kids on probation for it, but they are not making the shift manager accountable for actually counting them correctly! Then after being put on probation store manager makes fun of you for it, I think thats a huge sign of enjoyment there and also one 30 year old bully. Pretty disgusting. At one point Haley called home from her break to say a boy came in higher than a kite and asked HER to hide his pot for him. She told him no, but another co-worker did it for him. Her dad and I talked and decided to call the shift manager at that time. He was very kind, complimented Haley on being an asset there and what a good kid she was (Others have to, the only problem seems to be the store manager). He did a bag check that night, could smell it but couldn't find it, but he got off scott free. Ok, so the store manager seems to enjoy punishing the meek (who probably appear weak to a bully) but those who do illegal things, that's cool?!! John assured me it was a safe working environment and it would be taken care of. He did his part as a shift manager but the store manager didn't. Haley's charter school is much harder than a normal brick & motor building. Its not abnormal to have a 5 page essay due or just for art this week she has an 18 PAGE project to complete (that's just an elective course to boot!) she went to work tired. Store Manager commented on her "looking tired or dazed" Haley was being honest with him and said "My school is tough and I'm tired tonight, but I also have severe ADHD & I've been rising above it with a lot of hard work and no longer on meds for it" (which was her dad's and my decision b/c adderall makes her very withdrawn, depressed, quiet, not to mention its an amphetamine with some research realized other countries have pulled it from the shelves b/c its killed children and given them heart conditions). Store Manager remarked "Well your parents should think about putting you back on adderall." I don't look at my children as having a disability we teach them to manage and try to overcome, BUT if we are going to break it down, doesn't that violate the Americans with disabilities act?!" ADHD is a disability. Dude has some nerve. I think we've pin-pointed him correctly, nothing but a coward, low self-esteemed bully that finds pleasure in his power and trying to destruct others. Whew, thats something to be proud of. Its safe to say I pity his children and wife. If he treats strangers and co-workers this way, imagine how he is behind closed doors of those he is comfortable with. We said enough is enough this week and on a joint decision decided she was not going back there for more abuse. As someone who should keep things professional, he should have taken courses on people-skills, communication skills, ect. This is what I do know Haley maintains 3 honors classes, makes honor roll, & doesn't seem to have a problem with other people or shift managers there. One lady shift manager said twice she was going to try to reason with store manager about the drawer issues and putting Haley on probation, she did not feel it was right seeing as they are not given a correct starting drawer with the right amount on money in it. She felt it was undue and unfair. Other children have told me how awful he is to work with, she is not the only one complaining. She is not finished with this job, I turned her uniforms in, her dad will escort her in to pick up her paycheck. I've called their ethics hotline and opened an investigation on him - Hopefully they will at least make him take some courses on how to talk to / treat employee's because they did lose a good one. As for Haley, she will be applying elsewhere and hoping for a better experience next time. I will never understand what bully's get out of their power / control / belittling trips. They think they are powerful, but truth is they are wearing their cowardly ways right on their sleeve. Haley never once stood up to him. She figured he was a person of authority, it was her job, and she would just deal with it but we were watching more stomach ache's, dreading work (she mainly was scheduled to work with him ironically!) and emotional stress. Well that cost is not worth a whooping 7.40 an hour in a large city like Philly! I do know this, that was only the tip of the iceberg on how she was treated! I am one of those mothers that sit back for awhile to see if they can take care of it on their own but if they don't feel safe enough to do so, they are still minors- you mess with our children, you mess with us. She's learned some lessons herself, maybe how to handle things next time, how to speak up in appropriate manners (we went over that with her - ironically one of Brian's college courses this time is communication skills!) and we'll she now knows to be careful of everyone's advice and that some people are just a wolf in sheep's clothing. I hope she is able to find a job she really enjoys and the people can at least train and treat you with mutual respect!

Love

2012-01-11T19:23:00.001-08:00

A great post from facebook

Exactly my thoughts!

2012-01-11T09:51:00.001-08:00

He says it best!
Click to watch.

Shes on you tube

2012-01-08T12:04:00.000-08:00

She loves to sing and dance, and really wanted to be on you tube. I disabled comments / likes / rating just to limit bullying online! Here she is!

Very true

2012-01-07T09:56:00.001-08:00

You can only be cruel for so long!

Raising Children and The Spoon Theory

2012-01-02T18:28:00.000-08:00

Brian had a college assignment today that was for a communications course and his assignment was a several page essay on what communication rules we have in our home and what the results of them were. I realized after talking to a couple of people 'The Spoon Theory' peeked curiosity, so then I began to think it would be nice to share on a blog. It may help to improve communications for other families. These things are very important to us, we may even be a little obsessed in the parental arena with trying to get child raising as close to right as possible. Brian and I both came from very abusive homes. To this day we rarely speak to our parents b/c no one wants to be a dart board for undue venom spewed, this is where our hyper-vigilance comes into play with wanting to be ~~good~~ awesome parents. The best of ourselves that we can offer our children.

Our first rule would be boundaries. Boundaries in our home cover several things -

1) Tone of voice. - No one needs to be spoken to like she man was just unleashed.

2) Speaking with grace, having manners when you open your mouth to speak. Manners are simply an awareness of others around you.

3) If your hasty, walk away until you've calmed down.

4) Assertive - if needed to be, in a kind manner. Because we're not here to be complete doormats. But it doesn't take screaming, yelling, or disciplining out of pure anger to get things accomplished. If we need to discipline, we've hit the point where it's "this is what is wrong, this is why it is wrong, and this is what will happen if you do it again." And we stick to our words. Consistency is the key to any change and growth. If you make a mistake and slip up, apologize, wipe your knee's off, & keep striving forward.

5) If you wouldn't talk in that manner to a co-worker or a church member, you don't talk that way to your family either.

Which leads me into communication key #2 - The Spoon Theory

If you've hit a rocky point The Spoon Theory is a great way to recover. Sometimes family annoyances, grievances, or a talk is needed. It solves a lot if you can openly communicate in an environment you feel safe, and that's the precise point that you can begin to make changes and growth happen. We literally pull out a spoon and all sit at the table (we started this about 3 years ago). We hand one person the spoon and they can speak (in a manner using rule #1- boundaries) No one can speak unless they are holding the spoon. Sound silly? Maybe, but this is what it creates... Proactive listening, validating others feelings (we are all entitled to our opinions and feelings, even if sometimes we don't want to hear constructive criticism about ourselves, you need to and understand that if your living in a loving family- they are telling you because they want positive growth, they want to be closer to you, and it is not being said to hurt you). It ends defensiveness. If you don't have the spoon, your not to talk which helps to end defensiveness. If you mind your boundaries and listen when your not holding the spoon- then it gives you a chance to think about what is being said.

Sometimes you can find a point of understanding (where the other person is coming from) before you have your turn with the spoon. We've used this not only as a family unit, but also to air our sibling rivalry. It also teaches respect, patience, and manners, all awhile opening the door to communication again. It avoids a family argument. No one wants to hear doors slamming all day, siblings yelling at each other, hasty tones of voices, or an entire family in an uproar at each other. If its a deep conversation that was long over due and your getting a little angry at what you are hearing, take a break. You can walk away and say "I'll be back in 5 minutes" while you walk away to think about what has been said. Sometimes the truth about ourselves hurts the most and is the hardest to digest so that few minutes of break helps to digest the info you just heard.

It also stops an argument before it begins. We don't have to wait until everyone is annoyed and anger filled to have a family meeting. The Spoon Theory gives every one a chance to speak, sometimes more than once, & it helped us immensely. We are to the point that 3 years later we communicate more than ever, it no longer requires a spoon because we've learned to listen, and I find my girls (even a teenager!) coming to me to talk about anything and everything. She no longer feels the need to hide things she fears we may not agree with because we listen to one another, we've learned to accept differences and respect them. The Spoon Theory can even work with husband / wives if your struggling. Certainly having blow up arguments won't help (it may just create bitterness), but this tool will re-open the door to communication on what needs worked on. It also isn't always constructive criticism sometimes we also can hear the nice things others think about us and don't often say out loud.

In order for the spoon theory to work, you really need to create a safe environment for the kids / spouse to say what is on their minds. If you've acted a bit harsh and they want to say the things they feel you are doing wrong & it hurts them, you need to allow them to have the spoon and say it WITHOUT pouting, moping, getting angry or defensive because constructive criticism was brought to you - often in the beginning when we left the table, we all had some constructive criticism to think about and begin to work within ourselves. If you don't give your children / husband / wife a safe place to communicate then you can't be surprised when later down the road all communications has about ceased, but the spoon theory can be a first step back on the right path. You also need to be honest with yourself. Everyone makes mistakes so if your child / husband / wife is telling you that you are doing something that bothers them, don't just jump to denial, think about it for a minute, because maybe unknowingly you are. We are all human beings that make mistakes, how you handle your mistakes will make your character. What makes your family is the little, tiny decisions you make day in and day out. How you talk to them, how you treat them, how you make them feel. If you want a happy environment, then don't feed the misery monster and create it in your home.

And last but not least, I would say one of the biggest things that helps us is two words. "Thank you." All too often in our hurried lives, we snap about the smallest, most insignificant things. We try very hard not to snap at each other. You need to remember that your way is not always the right way, but if something needs corrected - let's use the dishwasher for example. The kids load it for a chore? Well if they did it wrong, it doesn't take yelling or name calling to correct it. It simple takes "Thank you! I appreciate that you loaded the dishwasher for me, but can I show you how to load it so the dishes will get better cleaned?" (I show them) and end it with "Thanks for helping me, I really appreciate your kindness." I cannot tell you how it has turned our family around in a couple of years. I can honest say I never hear the doors being slammed here, I rarely ever hear sibling rivalry (they talk to each other with respect and I catch them joking around far more now than ever before. It brought them closer). This eliminate the need for people to allow small things to build up and then they blow up, its rids the human volcano eruption which can lead to a big argument. The way I think of things as I raise my children - its not only effectively teaching them how to speak to their own family members, but it will also help them in the future with careers, their own children, their own spouses, and their friends. They have learned to carry themselves in a respectful manner and also how to speak up assertively in a respectful way if needed. Children often emulate our behavior - so if you call them names, belittle them, or berate them don't be surprised if before long, they are lashing out at you.

As with anything the spoon theory can take time, change doesn't happen over night and positive change rarely happens without someone making it happen. I have just found these things to help us tremendously as we are a military family (AGR, so we are not on a post) we're very much on our own, surrounded by kids most of our days, and I home school. While other parents are complaining all over the internet about the kids being home on holiday breaks, it kind of makes me wonder why its so awful? I guess because we are surrounded by ours almost all the time and we make it work in a positive manner. These little beings are my children, a part of me - not a burden.

If your struggling a bit, I hope sharing this helps some! I've taken hits on Facebook about "having the perfect family" (and other snide comments) and truth is, nothing is perfect. It is GREAT. It's great because we work on it daily. Many know our name, but not our story. I gave you a little bit of background info, but here's a little more if you need some extra motivation. My husband and I came from HIGHLY toxic, abusive homes ourselves. We've been through two war deployments so far, both of us have dealt with PTSD (his from war, mine from my childhood). Brian accepted a step child as his own- that's just a few things. Whew, if the odds weren't stacked against us statistically, I don't know what would be! What I do know is this - you have the power to create anything you want. You have the power to fix things or make them better. You don't have to repeat the patterns of your past. I think one of the biggest mistakes we make as a society is that we try to discipline & talk to one another in a mean manner - then we sit back and wonder why our kids / spouse are angry. Why they feel worthless and not accepted. Why they speak poorly to us. We are their example, lets not forget, so set a positive one! I am finally able to fully say I did not become my past! It took a lot of hard work and little daily choices to get me here, but I can't think of one complaint about my husband or kids. I asked them today their opinion (and being that we started to create a safe environment for their opinions years ago, they will speak it) Both girls say the same - no complaints,we can talk things out, they can talk to us much more than most kids say they can tell their parents. (matter of fact many their friends say that to us) In the end, I had 3 goals since becoming a mother - not to become my abusers, to make a safe, accepting, loving, & secure environment for my children, and to be the best wife I could be. It's little things like "The Spoon Theory" that have helped us along the way and I hope if your struggling, it helps you, too!

2012

2012-01-02T16:45:00.001-08:00

New Years Eve

2011-12-31T14:19:00.001-08:00

The kids are ready to celebrate! They spent the day at the mall while we cooked & took down Christmas decor. Only the big tree is still up yet. The girls used thier gift cards we got them for Christmas. Haley is wearing her new outfit & shoes to go out with Chris & his parents. We bought new kinect games to play- they are not only a lot of fun but quite the workout, too! I cooked 2 roasts, lil smokies, hot dogs in sourkraut. Set our apple fruit trays, veggie trays, & a meat / cheese tray plus macaroni & cheese and mashed potatoes! Yum! Brian said he found his beer pong in the kids toy aisle ( just kidding!) He is a riot!

Yes

2011-12-27T08:36:00.001-08:00

Kinect

2011-12-26T17:52:00.001-08:00

Oh wow! Xbox Kinect is amazing! Its such an aerobic workout but you don't notice because its so much fun! It takes pics of you & automatically saves them as you play! How cool! Im so amazed at technology- in my day it was atari & frogger!

The Journey Of Love

2011-12-25T21:25:00.001-08:00

I don't think I could ever put into words how wonderful he makes my life! He, by far, has surpassed what I once dreampt of how love would feel. He makes the journey we call life feel so loving, fun, worthwhile, secure, kind, and happy! I could never put into words how much he means to me & how much I love & adore him 14 years later!!!

Christmas Dinner

2011-12-25T11:59:00.000-08:00

If your looking for the Christmas morning pics of the girls opening their presents, scroll down to the next blog!

We made our first spiral ham, it was yummy!

he looks like Huhhhhh?!!!

Max loved his toys!

Putting her dollhouse together after daddy assembled it!

Trying out "Just Dance 3" on the Xbox Kinect

We chuckled after a facebook friend pointed out that it looks like Haley on the blanket box!

Max enjoying a ham bone!

Anyone remember Noah?!!!

Anyone remember Noah! Amy & Chuck gave him a great home! They often send me video's of him & also pictures. I'm so grateful! This morning she sent me a video of Noah opening all the dogs (and cat) Christmas presents then he was wore out so they tucked him into his new Christmas blanket! They are wonderful people! It warms my heart to see him!

(love this quote!)

Pics of the girls opening presents is on the next blog down!

Hope everyone has a Merry Christmas & God Bless!

Christmas Morning!

2011-12-25T11:06:00.000-08:00

What a wonderful Christmas morning! Ciera is such a doll and said "her favorite Christmas present is her family!"

They were spoiled Ciera got the barbie doll house she wanted, the girls got a gift to open together (Xbox Kinect sensor and games to go with it!) they both got make up. Ciera got toys and a gift card, Haley got movies (she asked to start a collection) music, make up, and also a Kindle. They were both very excited!

Most of my pictures blurred. I tried to use a point and shoot! (ugh!)

We laughed because the girl on the box almost looks like Haley

Presents Haley bought us with her own wages!

Pictures from dinner I will put in a new blog (above)

The Christmas Face!

2011-12-25T07:19:00.001-08:00

Ciera has been so excited that shes had trouble sleeping for days. Last night she was still awake at 1:30 a.m. This morning Brian was trying to wake her up & this is the face she made before she realized it was time to open presents!

We're ready!!!

2011-12-24T11:53:00.001-08:00

I'm so excited!!! We are all ready for the holiday! We are having a spiral ham, 24 hour salad, cole slaw, apple pie, dinner rolls, scalloped potatoes, a jello mold, cheese ball & crackers, ect. Ciera has barely slept in nights b/c shes so excited with anticipation!

Sweet Friends!

2011-12-24T11:43:00.001-08:00

Justin stopped by today ( Lindsay is crazy busy at the bakery) & surprised us! They always make the cutest baskets! Thank you!!! We have a lil surprise for them, too!

What an Angel!

2011-12-23T14:02:00.001-08:00

A good facebook friend of mine is a photographer. As you probably already know I quit & sold all my equipment. Huge mistake & lesson learned! I missed just being able to take nice sight seeing photo's & nature shots. Call it camera therapy but I missed it greatly! With about 10 grand in dental bills ( and another needing braces) I couldn't see me getting a dslr anytime soon. My friend have me her old dslr to play with & shipped it to me! I have been happy dancing all day!!! She is an absolute angel & has made my year in ways that words can't explain! Look Michelle up online- she is a very talented & sweet lady! You can find her at www.ambienceartisticphotography.com
Or on facebook at
Fb/Ambience-Artistic-Photography

I can't thank this sweet angel enough!

College

2011-12-23T10:02:00.001-08:00

So proud of Brian! He's doing very well in his college courses- 19 years out of high school! Not to mention being a full time student & a full time soldier! He received his first printed book & a Christmas card from the university! He has completed 29 credits thus far & even passed algebra with a B! Go Brian!

Warm your mittens!

2011-12-21T22:43:00.001-08:00

Random Philly thing #144 that I love! Restaurants that have fires so if you have a long wait for a table, you can warm your mittens!

4 more Days!

2011-12-20T20:57:00.001-08:00

4 more days & the girls are so excited! I'm still battling the flu 3 weeks later & on antibiotics. Man! I'm glad I got my vaccine this year because it is wicked! Brian & I have been baking! Ciera loves to learn to cook so I've been teaching her & shes excited to help me cook the holiday meal! Check out Max in the cookie photo, he is the supervisor! Brian and I decided to not exchange presents but instead search out people who needed uplifting & I can't explain how good that felt! We adopted a lady soldier & mailed her first care package! Donated to the homeless, food pantries, & uplifted a neighbor who lost her son to murder 4 years ago. Holidays are difficult for her & she brought down presents, a poem, a 4 page thank you letter, and cried several times and said no one has been so kind to them in 59 years of living here. I could just hug her! We met when her lab got loose & Brian helped her catch him. I'm not sharing our decision for bragging but in hopes to inspire others to leave the world better than they found it. It's your legacy & at the end of the day you choose to either act like a bitter hag or be the kind of person you would want to meet! I'm so glad God put the people in our lives that we can uplift! Giving was much better than receiving!

Olive Garden!

2011-12-20T20:32:00.001-08:00

We love Olive Garden! It was a nice family day out! Facebook timeline cracks me up, a lil error- OG is not a church, haha!

Christmas At Longwood Gardens

2011-12-19T15:33:00.000-08:00

Random acts of Christmas Kindness!

2011-12-16T20:24:00.000-08:00

Brian pulled in today with Haley and a neighbors dog was loose. We’ve only been here a year and haven’t met ALL of the neighbors yet. She was a bit older and tripped as she was trying to catch her large dog. Brian helped her catch it and walked it home for her (as she was limping pretty good). She talked to him for a bit and told him that she lives her with her mom and her son was murdered 3 years ago. Her eyes teared up as she told him how difficult the holidays are without her son. To brighten her holiday we bought her a gift and are going to surprise her with it tomorrow! I can’t wait to give it to her!

Brian and I decided to fore-go Christmas presents this year for ourselves and decided to spend it on random strangers that are struggling or may need an uplift. We've been able to donate to food pantries, adopt a soldier for a year, her 1st care package is ready to mail and Ive already written 2 letters...THIS was the best decision ever! It is soo nice to lift someone else up during the season, so much better than opening a gift!

A couple of weeks catch up!

2011-12-16T15:51:00.000-08:00

Whew its been a couple of weeks since I did a family post!

Ciera got her new glasses since Max had hers for an appetizer! (Above are her FAVORITE!)

both pair 129! Great deal!

Speaking of deals, Haley is great at finding awesome deals! Coat - 15.00 at the mall!

Brian had this past week off on leave! It has been so much fun! Nights of board games & Rummy!

Max was actually SNORING!

new Monopoly game with debit cards! It was fun and the kids liked the debit cards, I had trouble b/c I never knew how much was on my card, lol!

THIS GAME IS AWESOME!!!!

love scrabble, too!

Opened a Christmas card last week and that sweet friend Angela sent us- and to my surprise she had cards made from last years photo shoot! Day Made! Loved it! (top is back of card, bottom is front!)

Ciera has been making balloon animals!

my cuddle bug!

Haley's new hair style!

our tree!

Haley came home from work and said "I would offer you a chocolate, but I eated it!" haha

me!

and this one I'm very proud of! Haley has a knack of enlightening and teaching civilians about military life through her school work. This was her art project. I screen shot the first letter from her art teacher and forgot to for the 2nd - but the 2nd went on to say her art teacher would like her to put together a portfolio of her work and let an artist evaluate it. (teacher would set it up) She also said she showed it to the principal and others teacher since she was moved to tears.

We are very proud of both our girls!!!

art project / Poem written by Haley / and teachers first email

grade: 100!

teachers email (first one anyhow!)

Both girls are doing excellent and ready for Christmas! We are excited for the holiday and think we are cooking a ham this time (and all the goodies to go with it!) 8 more days!

a good reminder for the holiday season!

I can relate

2011-12-16T13:37:00.000-08:00

I read both of Richard Peltzer's books (he is the brother of David Peltzer who wrote The Child Called It series) there was so much in this book I could relate to coming from an abusive house myself that did not even stop in adulthood.

The gift of amnesia that they speak of what is that? Funny how the ax forgets and the tree has to live with the mental and emotional carnage, isn't it? sweet irony. I call it selective memory.

AMEN! I will always be the black sheep who cared more about her children than her pride. I will never be them. Thank you Lord for your help, guidance, and mercy! Thank you for allowing me to be the change and for letting me know early on what is right and what is wrong. There's no gray area with right or wrong.

This a letter it took Richard a great amount of courage to write to his mom. I can very much relate to it

I forgive my parents. They are not in my life. They have not chosen to truly repent or change. It'll be up to God to punish them. I wake up everyday trying to make a difference for my children. I pray I - everyday can show them the amount of their value and worth, how much we love them, we accept them as they are, & daily we have worked for years to always have a home they feel safe turning to, not judgement. I hope my girls know daily how much we love them, because our actions line up with our words. I have learned early on you can discipline with dignity, love without expecting, and most teach without cruel words. You can be angry without rages. You can love without suffocating. It's ALL a matter of choice. Choose wisely. God sure did bless me with a great husband and two great girls! I won't take that for granted.As for my parents, they made their decisions daily over 36 years and I feel sorry for them. I can thank them myself for two things - giving me life, and teaching me who NOT to be.

War in Iraq- OVER!

2011-12-15T12:25:00.000-08:00

That, Baby! YEAH!!!!

As an army wife and a US Citizen, today I feel proud! War in Iraq has ended- we did what everyone said we couldn’t do - we liberated a country, ended tyranny, gave them a whole new life while protecting our freedom! I’m so proud of my husband & our soldiers! Thank you to all who serve & their supportive families! This war, claimed 4,487 American lives, with another 32,226 Americans wounded in action, according to Pentagon statistics..be thankful & grateful for your freedom and protection!

the family dog!

2011-12-15T11:01:00.000-08:00

lol!

Truth

2011-12-05T20:44:00.000-08:00

I have learned that this is very true after being blessed to live in a very diverse area, where I am actually the minority - and although we are the minority here (hello lil white christian family) NO ONE here looks at us as if we don't belong, they all treat us with such a nice respect, they are so kind & accepting - they truly have opened my eyes! My God commands me to love thy neighbor & no where in the Bible does it say offend and make others feel unaccepted. For now on, I say Happy Holidays. Why? Because I like people, and no matter what religion they are - they will be celebrating this entire month at different times, and I want them to all enjoy their holiday!

Army Christmas Party

2011-12-05T20:40:00.000-08:00

We had a lot of fun! The soldiers and families were so nice and it was great to see where hubby works now and what all he does. It was a great time and the kids even had new dresses and heels to wear! (I didn't find a dress I liked at the mall so I got my nails done and wore one from my closet) His unit is very diverse and I love that! A lot of culture, a lot of kindness. As strange as this sounds, I feel so blessed that God put us in a very diverse area, I really enjoy learning about other cultures, religions, and beliefs. The people are are so nice and interesting! I respect them so much!

Sharp dressed man! (in his office)

New Reserve Building

Anyone drive a Prius instead of a Humvee?! lol

Brian's office

Playing in dad's office!

We decorated his office a tad for him! haha! We really lucked out, too! We were able to attend the food was awesome (same company that has catered to the Eagles, catered for us Saturday) and we came down with the stomach flu, all 4 of us Sunday - but thankfully it didn't hit til after Saturday so we were able to attend! We all had fun!

Christmas Party

2011-12-02T06:56:00.000-08:00

Our command Christmas party is Saturday! We're excited! The girls found new dresses at the mall yesterday, I forgot to snap before Ciera changed back into her clothes (hence why she isn't in her dress, lol!) but here they are!

Ciera's pretty dress

and Haley's!

Trying to find a dress I liked on me was a nightmare, I decided to wear one out of my closet!

Mr Max

2011-12-01T08:56:00.000-08:00

Mr Max sort of, kind of, well....DESTROYED Ciera's eye glasses!

Off to let her pick out a new pair today. This time I think I will opt for insurance coverage on them!

Speaking of Max, guess who turns one today?!

Even if he behaves like a "Marley" we still love him!

Some pics if Ciera as she likes to get all dressed up!

Haley went to D.C. with her dad & his girlfriend for 4 days. They had a lot of fun! I'm happy for her!

Maureen & her girls

Bombdiggity Thanksgiving!

2011-11-26T12:22:00.000-08:00

We had a terrific day full of awesome food, great family time, traditions we started, laughter, and a few tears. The tears came from the birthday cards they gave to me!

one of our traditions, we write down 4 things we like about each person and four things we are thankful for. It sounds odd, but it does lead into a lot of laughter! This is the third year we've done this. Ciera had made a turkey pot we used to put them but upon the last army move, I'm not sure where it went!

Sister love!

And my birthday, Brian said Haley insisted on picking out her own card this year and paying for it and a gift for me herself. How sweet! This card was amazing and made me cry like a baby!

She got me this card and a cucumber-melon bath set!

Ciera got me this really neat card that turns into a poster!!!! How cute is that?!

and Brian got me a really sweet card. I'm very blessed to have such a loving family!

It was a perfect day!!!

Food Pantry Donations & Haley's bedroom

2011-11-20T12:35:00.000-08:00

I thought this was the coolest thing! I've never seen it before, but you buy a pre-filled box of food (which these lil boxes actually hold a lot & they donate it to the local food pantry!)

I love being able to do a little good for the world, I would like to be able to do it more often!

If I could I would buy a family in need a complete Thanksgiving meal!

I got a really awesome phone call today! We paid a lot of security deposit to move in to our rental (I love it here!) Well she called me today to say that they are only keeping a one month deposit & are returning the rest so I only need to pay 300.00 for December rent instead of the normal 1650.00! I was speechless! Car inspection, dental bills...no having to worry about that and it also help with Christmas! So very nice!

What an awesome phone call that was, I can't thank her enough! She said we have been awesome tenants! (YAY! We strive for that!) They have also been very good to us!

We are working on Haley's room as a Christmas present she asked for. Ordered three wall quotes but one place on etsy sent me a really wrinkled, old one & it didn't work out so I will have to re-order again from a different vendor. These two quotes are up for now - one is Taylor Swift and one is Marilyn Monroe.

She loved them!

Haley took this pic of herself

Ciera bought herself her first pair of heels! She absolutely loves dressing up almost daily & has a cute obsession with heels recently!

Get your Merry On!

2011-11-15T17:51:00.000-08:00

from inside our mall, lol! Which is looking mighty festive!

I love it!

We decorated our house last weekend, too! But we'll get back to that!

Isn't this sweet? Graduated 19 years ago and was struggling to learn his algebra, so Haley sat down and taught him! His gpa is currently 3.42! This pic reminded me what family is all about!

Report card time!!! YAYYY Girls!!! I had a parent-teacher conference with our student adviser today. He had no concerns at all, the girls barely miss any days and their grades are great! He complimented us at the end of the wimba session (we do school online, same with conferences!) He said no parents logged on yesterday for their conference, he had to call them all. He said our fortitude & being pro-active with their education make a large difference in the girls' education and if all parents were like us, his job would be so much easier. He also said the girls are highly motivated. I think I glowed for a moment! Pretty nice compliment! It made our day! The girls are our #1 priority!

Haley started to use her gift card from Halloween, she got one shirt so far. She still has money on the gift card. She does very well budgeting!

OH! That awkward moment when the wind is trying to rape your hair so you take a quick shot and think wow, that's a weird pose! I have no neck! Not cute!

Does this earn cool wife points? Brian asked me what I wanted for my birthday & this is exactly what I told him, lol! I don't think he believed me for the first week, but I was being serious! It will be fun to play with him!

There is our living room! Now all ready for Thanksgiving! hehe!

Puss 'N Boots Imax 3D

2011-11-06T20:12:00.000-08:00

Unfortunatly Haley had to work today but since she has a lot of time with friends I decided to have a mama's day out with Ciera. We went to see Puss 'N Boots at the theater. It was a really good movie and we had a lot of fun! I've never seen an actual movie in the Imax 3D, really neat! It was the 1st time I've been inside our theater here, too. HUGE! And the chairs...so comfy!

Sporting her 3D glasses

a shot of the movie, lol!

Imax movie for two - $32.50

Concession Stand - $24.95

Bonding with your child - Priceless!

And Brian received an award today for excellence at annual training!

I'm so proud of him! His gpa is pretty darn high, too!

Hamsters & Swag

2011-11-04T20:50:00.000-07:00

The girls both have a new cuddle buddy! Each of them got a female hamster. (I know it's not a cat that Haley wants so bad, but with 2 people in the house who become ill with asthma and cat hair, its not an option right now). Aren't they adorable? Ciera named her's Skylar and Haleys is Peanut!

Ciera's hamster & cage

Iphone pics do not do a whole lot of justice with ever-moving creatures!

Skylar is the same colors as a chipmunk and even has the black markings on the sides of her face, kinda neat!

Haley got a cage to match her room - pink!!!

Peanut at Petsmart still, lol (before they packaged her up for us!)

Even though they were squealing and hissing the first night we were able to hold them within hours. If you have a good heart, its not hard to gain an animals trust!

Her pink cage! Somehow we have to find some pink tubes to add on to her cage! :)

Ciera got her ears pierced today again! This time 14k gold earrings only! They are looking good tonight so far, too!

And decided to get her hair cut like mommy's again!

She went shopping at Aero on a gift card from her grandparents from Halloween! She got herself 2 tank tops, a pajama set she loved, 3 socks, & a long sleeved shirt! (actually the sweatshirt doesn't look like sleepwear either) I added a little extra money in, she needs clothes after cleaning out her closet and dresser! We sent 3 HUGE boxes to a friends daughter full from Ciera's closet! We still have to get Haley to the mall to use her gift card, but she has been busy with friends and work. Tonight she worked and went straight to Melanie's house to spend the night. They are going to Peddler's Village tomorrow shopping! If I feel well, then I plan on taking Ciera to the movies to see Puss 'n Boots (from Shrek) in 3D.

Ciera took an awesome pic of Max on her phone! And edited it, too!

I'm glad she is free to be herself! The girl has swag! She wore this outfit into the store tonight. Nothing I can't stand more is a person who dresses with no style to directly try to find approval from a drab crowd! No thanks! Be anything but boring!

When we went to pick Haley up from work tonight she came out to the car and asked Ciera to walk in with her real quick and bought her 2 Disney Movies! I think we have super sweet kids, they have a great heart!

(Thank you Haley!!! It meant the world to your sister! She not only talked about it all night, but is watching the first movie as I type this!)

We had our first snow fall. Wtf? A little early for Philly. Yuck! We were very blessed though, 3 million people lost power and we managed to keep ours on. I was so relieved b/c it would have meant no heat, no way of really cooking - especially hard when you are military and don't know that many people! lol!

Love these I found on the post-secret app someone submitted:

NO DOUBT!

All is going well with Ciera. She has an appointment weekly for counseling for anxiety. We also have an appointment next week to ask for the referral to Children's Hosp. of Philly to have her assessed to try to get treatment for Sensory integration Disorder. We cannot go to the Occupational Therapy Gym's. The only take cash here and no insurance. They run about a grand a week. Yeah. We aren't no where near that rich! I am going to have to fight tooth and nail for tri-care to pay for this b/c it is very expensive to treat - but we'll I'm up for the fight. I don't back down when it's my children. If you don't have their back and be their voice, who is going to?! There has been quite a bit of regression in the past year but we try to not focus on that. Right now I am reading this book to try to understand her brain a little bit better and to help guide us on what to do. Brian and I also counsel once a month to help us better help her.

There is a lot to take in. I have moment where I have to take all this info in and put the book down to process it. (no pun intended!) and there are times when the kids went to bed that I cried. In some ways I feel like I'm watching my child slip away, in others I feel like things that didn't make sense that just seemed quirky over the years, completely make sense right now. Her biggest problems so far seem to be (from the therapist) tactile, textures (hence choking & gagging) some motor skills. (results in clumsy-ness, falls, ect) and also a lot of hypersensitivity. We can't really understand when our brain runs normal how it feels to hear loud sharp noises that overwhelm the senses, and you have no idea how one sense being off can ultimately affect so many others, and it goes right down to things such as motor skills (she has a large struggle with handwriting, drawing, using scissors as an example of fine motor skills.)

It's ok though. I know God made her this way for a reason. She is one wonderful girl, with a huge heart, doesn't seem to want to break any rules any time soon, is happy, and is a champ that over-comes everyday. And we're just going to work hard to help her become the best Ciera that she can be! The reason she is in counseling is b/c no professionals caught onto this earlier (even though we asked about a lot of things) and S.I.D. and S.P.D. can lead to high anxiety and a lot of phobias. Due to not being able to process senses correctly their world can feel very unsafe and insecure. We are told by professionals to not discipline for meltdowns (let the strangers glare!) or force them into what doesn't feel uncomfortable, it would make things worse for them. Which is something we haven't done anyhow - thankfully - before we even knew. We haven't needed, too. This explains now why she has trouble expressing what is bothering her or why it is bothering her. Now we dont ask open-ended questions like 'how are you feeling', it is 'are you happy today?' Its easier for them to process to give you an answer back. My little champ is still pulling A's and B's through school, too! The choking has eased a bit. Its not as horrendous as it was, but it still does happen due to two reasons, lack of motor muscle control with her tongue & also the textures of certain foods.

This video made by a person with autism and SPD shows what it feels like in a brain when you have over-stimulation of hearing senses, which Ciera has.

Don't turn your volume down. It's this way for a reason. So the next time you see a child in a meltdown, don't judge. It may not just be an undisciplined child, but rather a child with a brain who processes different than yours. I know we've had two meltdowns in a day at Petsmart. One over a loud bird screeching and one over a loud bark of a dog. Sometimes if you come up behind her and touch her, she will jump. To people with SPD, it feels like an "attack" to the brain, not a touch or a sound. (SPD comes with many different symptoms I just rattled off a couple of Ciera's struggles.) S.I.D. and S.P.D. are essentially about the same thing.
One foot in front of the other & we will get there. If we want to be technical, I am now raising two children with neurological disorders. I'm glad God gave them to us! I love them both and I don't see the struggles, I choose to look at their awesome-ness, because they are full of awesome!

Halloween 2011

2011-10-31T14:25:00.000-07:00

My goth and pirate beauties!

Sensory Integration Disorder

2011-10-31T12:46:00.000-07:00

We are getting answers to Ciera's choking / gagging that has been happening lately. I love how it works in a large city with well educated doctors- it took less than 2 weeks and we have answers. It looks as if she has Sensory Integration Disorder (she has many other symptoms besides choking) It is a slight form of autism. I am now working with tricare (I heard from psychologist and our counselor today they we may have to fight to have an occupational therapy gym paid for because it can run up to a grand a therapy session. I'm asking for prayers that tricare will say yes to coverage. We're highly concerned when it comes to choking on foods and liquids, and there are many other concerns that therapy will help. School is also working from their end to help her, such as putting on question at a time on her online test and allowing her to be able to hit next to the next question so she doesn't feel overwhelmed by looking at 60 questions at once. Now hopefully tricare will be willing to cover the therapies!

What does SPD feel like, this is described by the author of The Challenging Child
"Imagine driving a car that isn't working well. When you step on the gas the car sometimes lurches forward and sometimes doesn't respond. When you blow the horn it sounds blaring. The brakes sometimes slow the car, but not always. The blinkers work occasionally, the steering is erratic, and the speedometer is inaccurate. You are engaged in a constant struggle to keep the car on the road, and it is difficult to concentrate on anything else."

Philly's first snowfall

2011-10-29T10:34:00.000-07:00

Philly's 1st snowfall. It isn't large amount, its just very wet, heavy, and is cracking tree limbs all over. It's eerie as I sit here I can hear the limbs outside cracking. It's all good as long as the power stays on ;) so far the lines look good, the limbs are coming down around them, not on! I hope it stays that way!

And last night - was.the.best. The best feeling ever is picking your soldier up from the airport! Which came with a nice blessing, too. His flight was delayed for awhile. Here they found mechanical problems on the place he boarded in Chicago and they had to change airplanes. I'm so grateful even through difficult times, God still shows us his mercy, love, and answers of prayers!

The girls and I just after arriving to the airport!

So happy to have him home! Brian finished his first semester of college last week. So very proud of him! Awesome grades! He's struggling a bit with the beginning of college algebra, but he is holding his own! Out of the army school he went to for 2 weeks his group of 6 (him & 5 classmates) got a 195/200 on their final project and the instructors are presenting their project to an ECS to show them how things are supposed to show them how to properly plan training. He rocks!

The girls are doing well in school. Ciera's throat is about 40-50% better so far (atleast as of right now) between acid reflux meds and also her inhaler. She sure has a silent asthma - no wheezing, no coughing, no congestion, cold, or allergy symptoms - just cannot swollow. All in two weeks (Doctors move fast around here!!!!) we saw her doctor, a pediatric throat specialist and now back to her regular doctor and next week to a psychologist for an evaluation. The specialist did feel he saw signs of SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder) and we have been aware there were small signs of it - well I just realized this week how many signs there are- which include choking and gagging). We are taking her Monday to see what the psychologist say then we will move on to their psychiatrist to see what his opinion is. She tends to seem over-stimulated easily and it is starting to disrupt her life a little. I had a little bit of a down week over this, realizing that in all honesty- even though I think they are PERFECT just the way God made them, I have two children with neurological disorders. Then I grabbed my boot straps pulled them up and thought this isn't bad, it could be a lot worse and I happen to like them just the way they are! They are good, smart kids who have great hearts! I do want to see what they specialist think though and help her the best way I can to cope, the same as I always did for Haley, too. We always thought they were just little quirks because it was not life altering, but with choking it is now, socially it is a bit. It's not that homeschooling is a problem, the over stimulation is, hence often she'd rather be alone than around others. We need to understand ways to help her. Things overwhelm a SPD child easily & frustrate them. She also struggles a bit with fine motor skills (yes even at her age, this disorder doesn't go away) I especially see it in handwriting and art. BUT just like Haley she is a champ and holding her own - their grades are all A's and B's!

Anyone else a tumblr addict? I love that place, you should really check it out! I think it is the BEST blog, hands down on the net!

Randoms Clips From The Weekend

2011-10-19T17:21:00.000-07:00

The things we do in Walmart when we should be sleeping!

added new domesticated fluff to our bathroom. I think its cuter than before!

Hung out at the mall, look at these SHOES! City girl shoes! *drool!*

This little girl got a new lounge outfit in a smaller size (YAYY!)

(dont laugh at my polka - dotted Halloweenie socks!)

Hopefully made a couple random soldiers day by sending him some love-from-home in a box!

(honey, dont talk when I'm taking a pic, haha!)

Omg! Where are my eyes????! Ick! Don't care for pics of myself, but I think I have the prettiest girls on earth (I'm biased but nothing will change that opinion....lookie!)

Oh and Max got snuggled in

He's also been acting like a pompous butt since his dad went out of town, but don't tell him I said that!

We'll get back to that out of town thing later. Justin & Lindsay brought us over a surprise drink called 4 Loco's for a card night. Omg. The ONLY four loko's we want in our house again in the four that live here. Brian was even talking to the hermit crabs, just say'in! Big Brother Justin And Big Sister Lindsay pulled a prank on Haley, (Sibling Love!) and stacked her room on her bed when she went for a walk. Yes, they did!

Yes, it does say 12% alcohol. Holy Shit. No one told me they were bringing me cheap ghetto moonshine in a can. haha! It was fun though! BUT I think I'll stick to Coors Light if I do drink in the future!

Yup, that was the room on the bed "sibling" prank. The.Funniest.Thing.Ever. Justin took a pic of her face when she saw it but it didn't turn out :( The photo, not her face. Clarifying. lol

Chris came over to see Haley and Ciera was able to play with Jenn!

He wrote a note on her forehead with makeup

Chris let her put make up on him. I swear that boy will do anything for her!

Aren't they sweet?

Had to take my love to the airport. (insert sad face) so he could go to school. On the way home I snapped a pic of the city line. Yes I can drive and iphone in city traffic at once, talented, right?! Don't mind the road looking bare, its not usually that way. haha! I LOVE my city! I think Philly is beautiful! I can't wait to see the city line again b/c Im picking him up and bringing him home.

This is how we keep warm when the thermostat blows & we're waiting on it to be fixed (which landlord is doing very soon!)

fireplace it!

And I just love a gorgeous autumn sky! All in all, great weekend! It just went too fast!

Boring shoes

2011-10-14T19:17:00.000-07:00

Ciera says life is too short for boring shoes!

Haley got new adidas's for work, too (but work says you have to wear boring shoes, so they are all white). We had fun at the mall tonight!

Terror Behind The Walls

2011-10-13T06:16:00.000-07:00

Haley & Brian had a blast! They didn't get a lot of pics b/c you weren't allowed to take pics inside and it was pretty dark, but I think these two say it all...

A day oiut with the girls!

2011-10-12T15:37:00.000-07:00

Its nice to have a day out with just one of the kids, taking turns, so they get to make special memories with one parent at a time, able to soak up attention, laugh, and enjoy doing things they enjoy. This time Brian is taking Haley tonight to Eastern State Penitentiary (Terror Behind The Walls) and Ciera chose Chuck E Cheese and some shopping! Brian and Haley just left for their evening and I'm hoping she remembers to take a few pics for me ;) Ciera had a fantastic time! We had a lot of fun. We had lunch at Chuck E Cheese & since she worked ahead in school we were able to go earlier in the day, giving her free run of the place. There was hardly anyone there. Afterwards we went to the book store to pick up "Wreck this journal" for all of us to do together (they are fun!!!) and then over to the mall where she picked out a few webkinz to reactivate her games online and a DS game.

For her prize she chose an Angry Birds plushie she's been wanting! She picked this one b/c its her favorite color!

Wreck This Journal

2011-10-12T15:09:00.000-07:00

How neat is this? The girls and I are doing a "wreck this journal" project together! (Book by Keri Smith) It's all about breaking perfectionism, coloring outside of the lines, and unleashing creativity! Ciera even painted a page with her tongue & peanut butter today! (yes, you read that correctly, lol)

Don't speak for him

2011-10-07T07:50:00.000-07:00

Excuse me while I step on my soap box, do I really live in a society in which the internet uproar of the day is.. "Was Steve Jobs a Christian? He did great things, but did he confess his love for God?" Now Westboro Church is planning to protest his funeral?

Shut the front door.

Do any of these people read their Bibles? First of all if your a Christian, act like it and respect his family right now and their mourning. You could also pray for them. Beyond that - only God has the right to judge, don't be an idiot and speak for him. I am a little shocked that there are articles floating around the internet with this topic! I'm sorry, but it makes me embarrassed to be a Christian when my religion is turning into a self-righteous, judgmental, mean & cruel society. Here's a reality check, now I do use the NIV version, and I may be missing somewhere around 20,000 words debating on which version you do or don't read, but my bible calls for me to love one another. To find grace. To separate the sin from the sinner. To GOVERN myself. To not judge. To not debate another persons amount of faith. That's only the start, I could create a very long list here but I'm sure you get the idea. It amazes me what people "concern" themselves with in this era when - if they were the 'oh so wonderful' Christians they claim to be online, they could be using this time in positive ways for their religion. Just a thought, but the God I serve, from what I read in his word - sure did prefer the tax-payers, lame, lepers, prostitutes, sinners.... I haven't found the scripture yet that said he adores the self righteous, hate spreading, judgmental kind. But hey, maybe that's in the 20,000 words I'm missing. It may come as a shock to some, but I believe in co-exist and tolerance as well.

Rest in Peace, Steve and love to his family & friends.

Wicked Jester

2011-10-02T08:09:00.000-07:00

I love wicked jester I have most of his books and a lot of shirts, but since losing weight I'm swimming in them. Might be time to order some new one's!

a letter of wisdom

2011-09-26T11:54:00.000-07:00

We seemed to have lost a little etiquette, a little humanity, and a little boundaries. Moving has totally altered my life, my views of things, and renewed my faith a lot more. I think it is sad that in order to feel you like you fit in to society anymore, you need to pretend to be miserable. (If you dont believe me just try opening up the PostSecret App or Facebook for awhile.) I love both places, don't get me wrong...but I often walk away wondering what has happened to the world. If you find a few positive people that are uplifting & care to make a difference, they shine out like a lighthouse in the dark. It's that rare.

I am extremely happy with my life - 14 years with my husband and we are still as happy as two teens in love. I live for the moment he walks through the door, I love to cook and clean and make him proud. I live for the texts from him (like today) he sent one that said "you make me smile inside and out" Saturday night I got one even though he was sitting next to me that said "you are hot" I feel that's a great accomplishment 14 years into our relationship together. I enjoy reciprocating things that make him smile. I love making my family happy.I also live for making my family not only feel happy but safe, loved, secure, worthy, valuable, and accepted. I love the times with my kids we can talk, I'm here if they just need a hug or encouragement. Im here to guide and teach them boundaries. We've always been proactive parents. I live for the moments we laugh so hard that I can't breathe, my ab's hurt, and I'm slapping my knee like a ridiculous seal. We don't always have the best of everything, we make the best of what we have. If the world knocks us down a day or two - sure we may put on our hip waders for the sea of bull crud we're about to walk through, get a lil down for a day - but a couple days later we get up and keep fighting our way through life!

Most of our lives we were very poor, so being blessed a little and getting to move into a nicer house (one withOUT mold!!!!) and we lucked out with a pool and hot tub. Even my daughter gets comments from back home. If she says 'I'm heading into the hot tub, can I call you back' (b/c her and her sister had plans to hang out) she gets comments like "You dont have to rub it in". I feel it, too with a lot of people. I have one very true friend that I am soo thankful for. At the end of the day, we are not defined by a pool or hot tub, and I'm sorry that our friendship was that vain, that you didn't realize that long before I moved. I'm not going to apologize for God's blessings though. I try to pass it on and help those I can - and we tend to follow our hearts and go to the neediest such as helping homeless people. I also don't feel I should have to apologize for our success at the moment. My husband works very hard for it. I also worked very hard for it through many severely ill years. I wasn't expected to apologize when we struggled like crazy just to keep a roof over our heads. But I feel like I'm expected to now. Isn't that ironic?!

So If I was to write a letter of wisdom to society covering many topics, it would probably look like this:

1) Your an amazing, wonderful, beautiful person! Don't hide your inner awesome-ness.

2) Life is fair. It's fair at being crappy to all of us, at different times. We all have struggles. Its how you deal with them that does counts.

3) A friend is not someone who only contacts you to vent. A real friend communicates in good times, too. A best friend will not only tolerate your strengths but your weaknesses. Not just your failures but your success's. Treasure those kind of people! Remember to do the same for them, too!

4) If you have nothing nice to say, shut the front door. Please! The world is full of enough miserable bullies. Many want to "be different" and yet they are all the same by choosing this behavior. I find irony in that alone!

5) Be yourself. Don't be held by chains of what the world expects you to be. Dare to be great at what you want to do in life. Everyone has talents. Don't let the world bring you down for it. I face the same things, I should be a CEO of some company bringing in six figures, but instead I chose to be the CEO of our family and it made a life WORTH living! Be true to yourself. Being what the world expects you to be will only lead to depression.

6) The most important things in life money cannot buy - unconditional love, integrity, a moral compass, standing up for what is right, faith, and hope. Don't ever sell those down the river for anyone!

7) If you want unconditional love, you have to give it. That means love, forgiveness, accepting flaws, warts, bumps, -n- all. Isn't that what you want, too? Don't expect to receive if you don't give. Otherwise it's a double standard, and that isn't attractive!

8) If you want a happy marriage. There are many keys to it, but to name a few - you need to have a great relationship inside of the bedroom BUT its also equally as important outside of the bedroom as well. If you can't carry an intellectual conversation or share a great laugh 5 years down the road - your headed for trouble, its only a matter of time. We connect in many ways - once in awhile we get drunk have fun, once in awhile we play cards and board games, rent movies, we cuddle on the couch. Every time we sit down to watch tv, he grabs for my hand to hold. Its those little things that mean so much!

9) I met my hubby 14 years ago, so you can imagine how crazy long its been since I've dated (thank God!) but I now see status's and stuff all over fb about "these people's dating standards" standards are a good thing, don't get me wrong! I had standards like I expect them to show me the respect I show them. I want them to cherish me because I cherish them. I want to know love. true love. not just a lust. I job is nice, too. I wanted them to accept my daughter for who she was and love her like his own. That was probably most of my criteria at a younger age. Now I see standards like "He has to be able to spell correctly and use grammer & punctuation" damn. And these people wonder why they are single. If your waiting for Mr Perfect, I feel bad for you, because your Mrs Imperfect yourself - so how do you expect no one else to have small human flaws. My husband was never good in English. He still asks me how to spell certain words. Well here's a newsflash, if I would have been snobby and judged off such ridiculous, tedious things, I'd still be alone. I would have missed out on the best man ever. One that has raised my oldest just like his own. He introduces her (even in pictures) as his daughter. Step daughter isn't a word in our house. He never favored his own once I had my youngest. He has kept a job- dedicated himself to it, and as an AGR he maxes out on rank in one more step. He is now going for a college degree to earn that last rank. He provided a great life for us, supported me in wanting to stay home as much as possible to raise our girls, he dedicates everything he has to his country, his family, and his job- in no particular order. He is a kind, loving, respectable, courteous, man. He is the first to have loved me without conditions. He supports my dreams. He encourages me. If I fail he jumps in with a pep talk. To be completely honest, I never met anyone like him in all my life - Ohhhh, what I would have missed out on if my criteria for dating would have been tedious pooh like grammar!Do you not make small human mistakes?

10) Key 2 to a happier relationship / marriage.

Quit bitching about everything. Seriously he is an adult not a kid. Don't make an issue out of tedious things, say...the way he loads the dishwasher. Your way isn't the only right way. Be grateful and say thank you. It's not worth a fight, it isn't worth his dignity, and it isn't worth how it will eventually wreck your relationship. That behavior will never create happiness. It makes you look like a miserable wench. Don't yell at me, I'm just being honest! ;) And at the end of the day, who wants to hang out with the miserable wench? Who wants to have sex with that? Who wants to even continue like its not happening & conversate with miserable's?! Sometimes once you find the right person, you have to keep remembering to be the right person, too.

11) Life brings us all pain. Seeking help isn't a weakness, its a strength. Otherwise it turns into self destructive behavior, or you treat others how you DON'T want to be treated. Not cool. That only leads to shame and destruction.

12) Avoid the asshats. Its that simple. I dont care if the asshats are friends, acquaintances, or family. If they cannot treat you with dignity and respect, move away from it emotionally. You dont have to answer the phone each time it rings, you can implement boundaries. You dont have to be a doormat. It will only lead to depression, anxiety, and feeling worthless and who needs that? You were born to do great things. God doesn't make junk. They reap what they sow in the end. Just make sure you sow good things to others in your life. It was hard for me to learn I couldn't force those to love me in life who should have. Accepting it was the best thing for my health and sanity! Frankly, being a victim or a survivor is both a choice. It was always be a choice. I chose to become a survivor. Its liberating. I hoped for friends when moving, met a few, and its more like I gained family. I dont even think they realize how good of people they are!!!

13) Don't reduce yourself to anything lower to fit in. It's not worth it! If they were true friends, they wouldn't expect you to!

14) Be the best you that you can be, every day that you wake up! Let your inner light shine. Take risks. Life isn't made to play it safe. That's like playing football but always choosing to sit on the bench. You don't need permission to dance!

15) Equality. Treat everyone with kindness. I don't care if they are straight, gay, bi, transgendered, Caucasian, Asian, African American, or any other ethnicity. You might be missing out on a great person! At the end of the day, you want acceptance, right? Well give it in return, too.

16) Learn to forgive. In all honesty, if not - your chaining yourself into an isolation room of a terrible prison. Your constant anger 5 years later isn't pretty. Forget as much as you can. Forgiving & forgetting is a process, but they do go hand in hand more than you think!

17) Want to see a better world? Micheal Jackson said it best, its starts with the man in the mirror. We as a society spend too much time "sweeping everyone else's doorstep" meanwhile we dont even notice that our doorstep is full enough of crud its hard to open the door.Stop judging. No one else wants to be you that doesn't make us wrong all the time.

Title One Math

2011-09-23T20:44:00.000-07:00

I was a bit shell shocked today when I opened the mail to see a paper that wants to put Ciera into a title one math program. It's a special entitlement class for more help. Well, its my blog and I'm going to be brutally honest, to me - it feels like a special ed class. I have nothing against special education except that my kids do not need it.

Wondering why I'm shocked? This is her complete report card from last year

Look at math. Anyone else see straight A's? Every semester she makes honor roll.

Here's a couple things to show her status in school:

On the list for Amazing Achievers

Just one of her 4 honor roll certificates from last year. Is it to brag? No. I just want to know WHY in the world we feel the need to throw her into Title 1?!! Where is this extra help so direly needed? When I opened this letter up from the school not only was I shocked, Ciera cried off and on for quite awhile and I had to keep pep talking her. She is a very dedicated, driven, self-motivated, and hard working student. It was a pure insult to her. I swore all afternoon it was as if you handed her some sort of failure notice. I was furious by this time. SO I started researching title 1 and am completely disgusted. If the school doesn't have enough students to put into the program (that are in need of it) they will lose funding. I get that funding is important, but my child is a human, not a dollar sign. I further read it is mainly based off of PSSA tests. She always scores proficient to advanced except for last year. In charter school we have one day for each subject of PSSA testing and you cannot miss that day. There is no make up day. She was sick the night before and sick the day of PSSA's and due to being ill didn't sleep well the night before. I told her to stop stressing and just do her best. She scored a basic that day. B-I-N-G-O. That's why they want her in title 1. I dont fucking think so. (Wonder if I made that clear enough?!!) lol

Let me explain a little bit of charter school to those who don't know. My child works very hard for her education. We don't sit her reviewing each subject every day with a teacher. She is taught 1, yes ONE subject a day by the teacher for one hour. (example: Monday, English 10:30-11:30 a.m.) other than that they have a schedule to follow for the day of what to do, what to read, what essays to do and turn in, quizzes and tests to take and so forth. It is much harder than a brick and mortar public school for these obvious reasons. I would be in agreement if she NEEDED this program, but she doesn't as the grades show. I'm highly disgusted at them at this moment. If she were to do it, it would give her another math class required and assignments. Last year, she put in twice the amount of required hours for a state public school student. I'm opting her out & will also be including a letter to the school with it. I find it to be quite the insult when you only have 1 hour of class a day, no reviews, and she pulls grades that look like that every semester. I absolutely love charter school, Ciera chooses this schooling method over a brick and mortar school for many positive reasons, but I do find this act unacceptable. I will be enclosing a note to the school with the opt out check marked! Most people don't understand why it upsets me - to them its like oh well, its extra help. Or hey you have a lot of society that doesn't give a rats behind about being a proper parent these days, and I find I don't really fit into mainstream that well. To me with as hard as she works, as dedicated as she is, and having consistent report cards like this, I do find it to be an insult as well. They can push it off on someone else and keep their funding. To me it's also about principality and it's just wrong on many levels. Don't even get me started on PSSA's tests, they are so messed up. That's a whole other blog though.

Want a good chuckle of irony? We also had this happen once before for reading when she attended a brick and morter school building. School felt she was below reading standards by PSSA's and put her into title one reading, all awhile she was making honor roll & reading "My Sisters Keeper" by Jodi Picult in 3rd-4th grade. I'm pretty sure she is well on her way to success.

Once she stopped crying today she dried her eye's up and said "I'll show them" ( I'm whisteling - I have no idea where she gets that attitude from. ahem. lol)

Darling!

2011-09-20T09:41:00.001-07:00

Isn't this just adorable? If they aren't just adorable enough I love how years later he still compliments her hair!

Inspiration

2011-09-20T09:24:00.000-07:00

I love pinterest for the inspirational quotes! Some of my favorites from the last few weeks!

haha!

Now the Post Secret App came out! I can't wait for them to update the app so I can better use it, but these were a few of my favorites made by strangers so far!

We're big on feeding the homeless, so this really pulled at my heart strings!

The Shore

2011-08-22T16:44:00.000-07:00

What an awesome time!

2011-08-22T15:52:00.000-07:00

We had a great visit - cook outs, dinner outs, ice cream, shore, gardens...it went by way too fast!

Totally fell into this lilly pond but I got the shot! *lol*

How can you fit a whole week in one blog?!! More pics on the next one!

She's Baaaack!

2011-08-22T15:00:00.000-07:00

Omg, she's back! I have held my tongue an AWFUL LOT this past year, held my grace, and let people walk all over me in the name of being a good 'lil Christian, I became a doormat. Often persecuted around each little corner, back stabbed by friends while you sit and smile pretending to be none the wiser - because we do reside in a not-so-kind world sometimes. fts. It's done. Way over baked. There will be no more grinding while I just sit and absorb it all. I don't believe Jesus did that anyhow.

She's back, the girl who held her own, knew how to stand up for herself, and when to do it. There won't be many times I will put on that silent smile anymore pretending to be none the wiser. I've had more drama in the last week while I was expected to smile through it- that it would be ok with me If I didn't see anymore for a few years! What got me the most though was one particular family. A rich family of professionals that ridiculously worry about their reputation not their character. The problem with worrying about a reputation is usually the character falls to pieces but it puts on a good appearance, where as if it were in reverse and they worried about their character, their reputation would fall right in line. Don't ever make my family not feel good enough in the name of your rich family appearances b/c by all rights, under a microscope, you look ridiculously uptight, anal, and dysfunctional. I raise my kids to have a backbone, to know right from wrong, to use a moral compass, that principality counts, to keep faith in God, to abide by laws, to stand up for what they believe in, and to use their education to the best of their ability - I do not have to sit here and bend over backwards to kiss ass for your approval and you won't find me doing it anytime soon. Neither will my kids. ALL awhile I'm being judged and questioned - the kids go to a Catholic school. (not mine) Not because they are religious, but because its better than public school. Hey kids! Lets go to an organized religious school, but poke fun at God when you have a chance. Oh, and at the Nuns, too. Cool thing to teach your kid! Volunteer at things you hate, not because it teaches you kindness and a service heart, but b/c it will look good on your college application. Keep them locked in a virtual cement cellar (for good measure) instead of educating them and talking to them about mature decisions so they can go hay wild in a few years and waste your precious $300,000 education. I mean what kind of mom am I to laugh and joke with my kids and to allow R rated comedies? Make sure you don't laugh at the table, wouldn't want to upset father, I mean, this is a place of professionalism. And you really want to break down to richness. Your can is empty. Your personality sucks with judgements and no one being good enough, your reputation is false and your kids have done nothing but learn to lie to you constantly to "keep the peace" WHEW! SCORE! Amy-1 & you- 0. Want to keep it going? Looks like we're doing just fine with a 3 bedroom house, pool, and hot tub on one paycheck. Especially in a city where normal summer electric bills are 578.00 a month. Here's your clue MAYBE your not good enough for our family. Our family believes in truths, morals, and ethics not appearance. We believe in honesty. We believe the home is a safe haven, where you are comfortable in knowing you are accepted always. We believe in fun and laughter because life is short. We believe in a little relaxation because dance, camps, karate, and the next 12 activities we run too are no better than allowing daycare to raise your kids...just now activities do it for you. I swear if you put them in their house for 2 days they would now know how to just be a family. I will say it one time, if you have questions you need to ask, why dont you come to the source, the adult...and seriously cut the umbilical cord. No one likes virtual breastfeeding from mommy in their teen years. And they would rather be accepted enough to tell you the truth and not have to make up lies all the time so everything looks good for you and you are kept happy. They created prozac for that! Where do some get off thinking no one is ever good enough to be around their children and they judge that off of a 5 minute hello months down the road, instead of looking at the kids - how do they behave? How is their education? Do they abide by rules and laws? Are they mature? honest? have a moral compass? Those are questions you should be asking - starting with your own. You have something to ask, I'm an adult. You come to me. You either need to step up or step back because you, by far, have crossed the line.

And to the "friend" who stabbed me in the back this week? well its like this, Ive known you for a long time. I knew what you were capable of by past history and I gave you another chance. You didn't deserve it. You create nothing but misery around you, make absurd decisions that affect your family - have fun with that. I'm out and I will never be back. An honorable person doesn't have to ask for forgiveness every three days.

Deleted!

2011-08-18T09:39:00.000-07:00

Everything is deleted. What I try to start all the time seems to backfire in my face. I thought it would be nice to make a website for random acts of kindness & people who just want to make a small, positive difference in the world - started off with a fb page and that was the description. Before I know it I'm getting attacked in my personal inbox for things I post on my personal facebook page, which are random quotes usually that aren't even rude. NO WHERE in the description did it ever say for religion, Christians, or anything in that nature. Coming to police my fb page many hours a day is uncalled for. I've sat and found the grace to not say a word until now, I'm so over it. The fact is we have something called freedom of religion in the US. If you are Christian, the sad realization is, we have to respect that. What you call "soul winning" actually is more well known for driving people away. I've found just watching those who act like an awesome Christian drive me to want to be a better one without saying a word. I know this will make you gasp but in all honesty, most of these were also Catholics. The religious nuts drive me away, but that's just me. The blog is deleted. The group is deleted. My time is better spent with random acts of kindness without a group. I can't stand to watch other kind people pushed out b/c they are not religious at this moment, or being knit picked with what I'd refer to as Fundi's. If your one of them check yourself before you check everyone else. The Bible calls for spiritual fruits, not religious nuts. A prime example, Westboro church calls themselves Christians and yet they drive so many to dislike the religion, spending so much money on hatred. Until today I have held grace but I'm just going to come out and say it out loud, here's the thing, if you have 22 hours a day to sit on fb, police in the internet, micromanage other peoples pages, then there's probably many things being neglected around you - that's not in the bible, just sayin! Im posting it here so I dont have to answer to 20 people individually. The group will look like it exists for a bit only b/c facebook seemed to have forgotten a delete button so I have to boot every member out, including myself until its deleted automatically.

I'm a little angry this morning so its probably best if I walk away for a bit.

The Whats Happening

2011-08-03T22:39:00.000-07:00

Oh Goodness, I MISS MY GIRLS! Ok, so I was kind of excited they were going to grandma's for a month (military families dont really get any breaks, we're usually on our own and even a little harder if you live off post) Brian and I had a great time, but I'll tell you, the house just isnt the same without them here! We spent a lot of time laughing and joking... its way to quiet when Brian goes to work! I can't wait til they come home, 10 more days! They've been having a lot of fun though! Ciera has been spending time with her best friend doing all kinds of fun things and Haley was able to go to The Outerbanks with her best friend! She got sun kissed in NC, alright...a lil lobster is the new color! ( ha ha!) It was so kind of everyone to spend time with the girls and take them places!

Haley sent this pic of her friend Christen and her, I really liked it!

Brian has AT coming up. No fun. I have been through a couple of deployments, you'd think 20 some days wouldn't be much right? I've learned any separation really does stink!

What else is new?

I'm SOOOO excited! I opened a group up with a mission of building positive friendships and also little random acts of kindness (that doesn't have to cost a lot of money) and the past 24 hours has been incredible. I just opened it and I've already met wonderful people, we're up to 60 members, and people are posting often! God is Good! If you would like to join, you can find it here

We also have a blog for it here!

There aren't a lot of rules... we're there to build friendship, offer support (and even prayers) and try to leave the world a little better than we found it. Just no drama. It won't be tolerated. Negative people are a dime a dozen these days and I'm not dealing with it anymore! :)

Brian starts college the end of this month! He's starting with general studies (associates degree) to help him get his E8 rank then will move on to a bachelor's degree.

I've been praying on my future since giving up photography. I am planning on applying to college. I want a bachelor's degree in journalism, and I wouldn't mind an associate's degree in either human services or human resources. I want to wait until after Christmas this year to apply. I hope, hope, hope I can get through the math portion! (Math was NEVER my subject!)

Speaking of Christmas, can you believe I've started to shop already? I have 2 presents each for the girls wrapped already! I feel better about starting early. I worry more if I'm trying to do it last minute!

Other than that, I've been looking for a place to possibly volunteer more with the homeless, the girls seem to want to do it with me as well. There are a lot of options here in the large city but I know there is a need for it, too! We've been feeding them and such, but I want to do more. It's a cause close to my heart.

Random Pics of the Week

2011-07-23T10:52:00.001-07:00

117 with heat index Crazy!

Wildwood,NJ

Not spoiled, just well cared for! lol

Olive Garden!

really dont want Brian's vacation to end! Its been a blast!

WildWood & Parasailing

2011-07-20T06:23:00.000-07:00

Wildwood was so much fun! I am afraid of heights so parasailing made me nervous but I knew Brian would love to do it. It was so much fun! It is really calm up there and a neat panoramic view of everything! At one point we looked down and saw school of sting rays and also dolphins jumping. We went to Hang Loose Parasail, I'd definitely recommend them, they were professional but also a lot of fun! Even though I look like a complete goofball in them, I uploaded the video's!

Here is our take off! and here is us coming down and getting dipped! (It was a lil surprise but we were up for anything, lol) The Dip

And some random beach & boardwalk pics!

Glad our motel had cable tv in COLOR! lol!

Lindsay & Justin! Love this pic of them!

Almost a year!

2011-07-13T08:16:00.000-07:00

September will be our first year here! Summer is flying right by! It's been a busy one thus far! We had Ciera's friend up to stay with us for 10 days and Haley's friend stayed for a month. I think they had a good time and really enjoyed Philly! We did some sight seeing, swimming, took them to local places for food and ice cream. It was a good time! They just returned home and now my kids are about to go to their grandparents for 30 days. THIRTY DAYS! What?!! I know they are just as excited as my parents. Would it be wrong to admit I'm excited, too? It's been since I was about 18 that I had some kid free days to just have fun and not have to be anally responsible. Beyond that, I know they will have a blast seeing old friends and their grandparents!

Brian took 10 days off from work, so we will have some time together to have fun! I'm so looking forward to it. Thinking about day trips and adult dates with our friends. They've mentioned places to visit and restaurants to try!

We are almost a year into our move. It's hard to believe! I'm so thankful the army brought us here and our landlord allowed us to rent her beautiful house! I love it here and feel so much at home right down to the city. I learned a lot in the last year. I think Ive always been a city girl at heart. No offense to country girls, its just isn't my thing having to drive an hour to a small mall or getting excited over amish buggy's and cows. I never could get excited about rodeo's. It was never me. I was raised down past Pittsburgh before we moved to the country starting my freshman year. It's a weird feeling as soon as we drive downtown and see the city line I think "ahhhh! This feels like home!" I really will miss this place when the army decides to relocate us later down the road.

The craziest part of it all. I thought it was the bad things in life that can dissolve friendships. No. Wrong. It can be the good stuff, too. This was all a huge blessing for us after a lot of rough years, financial hardships, ect. I've had more friendships dissolve over jealousy (what else can you call it?) than anything else in the past year. Ironically, I understand where they are at b/c we lived it for so many years. A town without many jobs, the feeling of deep financial hardships (3 jobs in one house and you can barely buy any monthly groceries once bills are paid & for us, that was most of our lives with only having one car in our family!) There isn't a whole lot there to be excited about often. It seems to cause depression and bitterness in many. From the minute we secured our rental and said we were moving ( *escaping* would describe it best) the tiny country town, shit hit the fan with friends. Some dropped off the earth immediately without further ado. Some suddenly had no time what - so - ever to carry on a friendship, some didn't want to hear about you catching your break in life. Sadly, at first it hurt. I was shocked b/c these were the same people I've cheered on over the years, supported emotionally, encouraged, and cheered when they caught a break, ect. The same people I prayed for day in and day out. It's almost a year later and nothing surprises me anymore. I've chosen to move on. I know I would not have treated them this way if it were them I'd still be cheering them on, I've offered for people to come visit and stay with us without needing money (except for gas and tolls to get here. Who foots the grocery bills when they do? us.) and now, I'm just kind of done. Now if you want to be a miserable, jealous hag, so be it. I'm not choosing to live my life that way. I've noticed many from that particular small town put on a good front. the "I'm a great christian girl" and deep within they are miserable witches and thats why I stay away now. No thanks. What I do know from so many years of chronic illness is that life is really short. Health is very fragile *the healthy just don't realize it* and I'm going to enjoy my days to the fullest. It's usually comments like "Must be nice to sit on the deck and tan when your husband is at work" or "Get a job" or something to that effect. This is where I draw the line, I can take so many of those comments, then I'm over it. I've worked since I was 14, through severe chronic illness w/o help from incompetent, small town doctors, I home-school kids, care for the house, pool, and lawn. My husband and I already have had these discussions. He TELLS me to go out and enjoy the deck and pool. Prior to that I never used to b/c I felt guilty, and when he asked why I wasn't out there enjoying it, I told him I felt bad that hes at work and he said get your buns out there and enjoy it so I am! I'm thinking about returning to work come fall. We wanted the summer together and I can help with Christmas that way, but really, is that anyone else's business. He brings home enough to pay all our bills plus some. We don't live off the system. We pay our own bills (which are very high in the large city. Is your electric bill 503.00 in a summer month for one month of electric?!) I'm not going to feel guilty anymore about catching a nice blessing in life just b/c others want you to feel crappy about it. Misery still needs company and I'm still not interested!

They also could find their way out if they weren't so busy whining about it constantly and making bad financial decisions. There are plenty of federal jobs out there and civilian jobs out there listed online where they will pay to relocate you even if you are not military. As a reminder, my husband has served 19 years in the army. He has worked for every bit of his rank, as we all have sacrificed for it. He's been to war twice for 3 years out of our lives. He will go back to war. This family has worked our a**es off to get where we are and just thankful for where we are now, considering where we came from.

When I sit back and reflect, I wonder if I've changed? I don't know, I think I have. I have chosen things dear to our hearts to help - soldiers. We know what its like to be one. So we volunteer there. We also go out and feed the homeless that come with a really bad stigma. If people weren't so ignorant, you can see clearly who is desperately homeless and who is looking for drug money. Its pretty clear to be honest. I have come to be an advocate for them. Most people will judge and say they put themselves there. Well here's the thing, 3 jobs plus meager child support in one house before we caught our break and moved here, we were steps away from being homeless, especially through chronic illness. I had to open credit cards I could not pay to feed my kids and as tried to work as my family thought I was not going to make it. If we were one step away, whose to say these people don't have a similar story before the crash of the economy and promises of new jobs that haven't been delivered heavily upon? While people are busy judging, we're busy feeding. There are kids going to bed hungry at night in our own towns. That's a whole 'nother blog though. I don't think that was a change, I have always had a giving heart, but not really the funds to do much of anything.

I think the biggest change is I decided to be happy. No matter what. I give myself permission to enjoy life. To have fun. Best decision I ever made, so I probably have less tolerance for misery today than I did a year ago. I've learned that happiness is a choice, and the people who decide to get up everyday and be miserable, paradise wouldn't change that. It takes the same amount of work to wake up and decide to be happy, to run around the yard and laugh with the kids, it takes the same amount of effort. It's just deciding if your going to nurture negativity or positivity. I've lost tolerance for less than true friends. I'd rather have the small circle that are loyal than to give loyalty to what will repeatedly look for ways to stab you in the back. Shamefully, that self-induced misery will lead to back stabbing. Imo, they run hand in hand. If they are miserable, what else do that have to bring to the table but misery and pain? No thanks. Sorry. So almost a year later, it is what it is. They lost a loyal friend. They lost a person who dropped everything to be there for them. They lost a part of themselves to more misery and they lost a vacation spot. I personally think deep within they lose a whole lot more, but hopefully someday they realize it. As for me, now the comments no longer bother me. It's like 'hell yeah, I'm enjoying the pool!' 'Yeah, it is nice to tan, swim, and care for the house.' What can you do but send love to the haters?

I'm carrying on spending time volunteering, taking care of my family, home schooling the kids, cleaning, and LOVING my life. I wake up daily excited about our lives. It doesn't matter why, where, or what. If we have a pulse, its reason to enjoy the say, seize the moment, and be nothing but happy & excited! If that bothers some, my apologies. Look for action. Look for ways out. They are there. I promise. We never thought we'd find out way out either. We never thought we'd escape the drudgery of paycheck to paycheck. I know daily as much as we feel like we hit the jackpot because of all the blessings, I also realize there is risk of losing it all. I just don't understand the jealousy thing? Why let it destroy? They could be here for a visit tanning with me for pete sakes! I'm not going to spend all day analyzing their misery though, I have a life to enjoy.

I've finally found time to do some reading! I finished Saving Max, Two Kisses for Maddie, Signs of Life, and also Sickness. Most all are memoirs, my favorite! I'd recommend all of them!

I can't tell you how excited I am. Friday begins my 10 days off with Brian! YAYYYY! We have so much fun together. I'm so thankful I married my best friend. It's not so cliche after 14 years together and your still deeply in love & enjoy your time together! We have been counting down all week!

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the
intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well
preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways,
chocolate in one hand, champagne in the other, body
thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming
“WOO HOO what a ride!”

Kids Castle is a free park in Doylsetown. It's 4 stories high!

Poolside

2011-07-03T10:57:00.000-07:00

Poolside pics, I'm officially down -17 lbs! yay! Closer to my goal! My first goal is only 18 lbs away now! yay! It's been a blast hanging poolside and catching some rays! I love it here! Lindsay and Justin are coming over for the 4th, it should be a blast!!!

Protein really IZ my friend!

My lil trip to CVS today reminded me...

2011-06-28T14:15:00.000-07:00

My little trip to Cvs today provided me with 2 reasons why I want to stick to my diet!

the "style" with comfort

and the waist expander buttons

Getting on the scale today, I'm down 15 lbs so far! yayyyyy!

Brian's Birthday!

2011-06-25T09:34:00.000-07:00

We planned a pool party for Brian yesterday! It turned out to be soo much fun! They swam until 11 pm and then we sat around the camp fire until 2 a.m.! It was such a good time!

The Philly Experience II

2011-06-22T08:51:00.000-07:00

We've been having a good time having Andrea and Maddie visit! The days have been flying by with taking in the sights, swimming, sight seeing, walking, laughing! Good times! I'm so glad their parents allowed them to come stay with us for a visit! Yesterday they had me laughing in the car so hard I was crying. Our random jokes - me "I like to like my own status's, its like high fiving yourself!" "Oh look at the nice parts of the ghetto - you can buy your hooker wear and rugs at the same store and shrimp at the gas station!" *lol* Here's some pics from exploring Philly Yesterday from Philly Zoo to Betsy Ross Museum!

The Philly Experience

2011-06-22T08:13:00.000-07:00

We wanted to take Andrea and Maddie out to see Philly while they were here visiting! It's been so much fun!

So far we've been to Adventure Aquarium, The Liberty Bell, Philly Zoo, Independence Hall, the Betsy Ross Museum, saw the burial site of Benjamin Franklin (and Betsy Ross), a horse carriage ride, Franklin Square, Rita's, and Baja Fresh. I think everyone has had a lot of fun! It's so neat to go downtown Philly, it is so rich with history. At the zoo the rode the swan paddle boats and a horse, too!

Dental Check up?!

More continued on the next blog!

hits and misses of the week

2011-06-22T05:34:00.000-07:00

- The Hits -

My two best friends. They make my life priceless!

Max's stitches are out! And I did them myself! (good to have a medical background!)

Having Andrea and Maddie here to visit! The girls are having a blast.

Sight - Seeing Philly. I can't get enough of this place. It feels like home and I love it here!

Listening to the kids laughter.

Step dad's who love without hesitation. That don't let down. Don't break promises and puts you first.

Laughing so hard you cry!

Iphone 4. I'm in love! Free App's!

Feeding homeless people.

Next month my hubby has a week off ! It's nice to take time for your marriage. We plan on having some sight seeing days, too!

face painting!

- The Misses -

Photographers that become so tangled in the 'I must succeed' that they lose themselves, all humanity, all kindness in the name of everyone is a competitor to them. Ive met more than one and it makes me glad I escaped it to realize there is more to life than just that. Please stop asking, I do not miss it.

Having a red cup in your face at each stoplight. Druggies. Once your here for 6 months, you can tell the difference between true homelessness and the drug induced lacking funds.

Sperm donors who don't return calls on fathers day, b/c they are too busy in a canoe with other people's children. Then when they call another day, give some excuse like the cell phone was under a rock, near the bench, by the tree... so I didn't get the calls or texts. To one up it, they make sure the pics are uploaded to FB for her to see. She'll only tolerate it for so long and one day, buddy, your time will be up. Cats in the Cradle does come to mind for those losers. Equally as silly is 'Sally' who somehow thinks her children will be treated any different. What a dumb-butt.

Ebay fee's. I owe them 700.00 later, finally all my photography gear is sold!

Great Marriage Inspirations!

2011-06-10T10:31:00.000-07:00

We live in such a "trade in world" You know, if your spouse gets boring, trade them in. Grow old? Trade them in. I'm so proud to say Brian and I met in 1997. We married in 1999. We are still going strong after 2 war deployments, army life, 2 kids, hard time, and good time, not to mention the excellent times! I was just thinking this August will be 14 years since we started dating! (Married for 12 ). It made me smile. I'm no doctor, but I can tell you some great pointers after 14 years.

Don't forget men like attention, too. I know, I know! They seem all kinds of macho compared to us women, but they like attention, too. They like the little cards in the lunchbox, the lipstick notes on the mirror, the little things really are big things! They like to feel special, wanted, and valued, and appreciated just as we do.You taking a shopping trip to the mall? Don't make it all about the kids, come home with a nice something for hubby to for a surprise! Men take note, women love this as well!

They can't read your mind. Say nicely what you need to say. Im fine, whatever, or worse...will never work in anyone's favor.

Be careful what you say and your tone of voice. There's a general rule, just like friendship - if your unhappy, miserable, down, mean, spiteful, or angry often, its not gonna work out well for you. You will make them bitter in the end. Remember some words you can never take back. Never ever play the trump card of "I'll leave you' unless you are prepared to pack up. One day you might find them packed up.

Never ever degrade or treat them like a child, nor speak to them like one. If your on the flip side of this, why allow it? You teach people how to treat you. If you make it acceptable, then its frankly...acceptable in your home.

Give each other room for mistakes. We are all humans. (I don't mean constant things like abuse) And when you are wrong, say I'm sorry and work on not doing it again. Often we forget about the last part of an apology...the I will make it up to you and show more integrity.

Don't play the blame game. Your not in 2nd grade. Raise one another up in love and kindness. You reap what you sow.

Keep the friendship side of your relationship alive. There is a lot more to a relationship than just sex. (although you can keep that spiced up as well). It's nice to have companionship, someone to laugh with, grow old with, have things in common, if you don't after a long time of togetherness, explore and create them! We found in the past year something new we love to sight see and both love photography. Something else we discovered, we love to take walks. He calls it walking the dog, but in truth its because we spend time away from electronics and distractions to talk!

Those little things are not just material things either. It doesn't have to be money. He going to work? Pack his lunch and throw it in the fridge for him. Cook his favorite meal. Mow the lawn. (mowing the lawn is not known to kill & burns lots of calories and now they can relax after a long day once in awhile!) Take the garbage out yourself! Rake the leaves, anything that he will notice as something kind that he now doesn't have to do that gives him a small break. Chances are, if your with a person of integrity, you treat him with this kindness and respect, you will get it all back in return, too! I started the adkins diet a few weeks ago, I wake up several days a week to protein shakes pre-made for me in the fridge in the morning! How sweet and it makes me smile! He took the time before he left for work!

Don't bitch over stupid things. Seriously no one care if he spend a dollar more on a veggie at Giant Eagle. Nor will it be important a year from now. It isn't worth degrading someone over a few bucks, a toilet seat left up...you get the picture!

Share Duties. If the kids are young, share duties. It isn't all the mans or womans job. Be helpful. Be considerate. and when it comes to discipline (again as long as its not abuse) back each other up. Whew, if your not a team, they will learn to conquer and divide. Also you don't want your partner to feel belittled or as if you don't have his back. It won't do your children any favors either in the long run. Don't create a "lil monster" you'll later on complain about!

Don't say anything about one another you wouldn't want repeated. Brian was never one for "locker room talk" and I respect that!

Be a person of integrity. If you want to be in a marriage that works out, don't dance anywhere near the devil. Temptation eventually eats at you. An ex-alcoholic doesn't hang out in bars, same for a marriage - don't do things that would make them question your trust. Trust is everything. It takes suspicion not proof to destroy.

A compliment is always nice and it goes both ways! It's nice to let them know your proud of them doing so well at work, on their PT Test, being such a good father, a man of integrity, for running to the store for that gallon of milk and so on!

Hold hands. I don't care if it is 30 yrs later. Hold hands. Kiss them when they come home from work or leave, or just in passing through the house. Vows do say to cherish as well.

I am a firm believer in those who pray together (AND both work at it) stay together. Mine always has my back in prayers just as I have his, too!

You know, I think Randy Paush gave his daughter the best advice for dating...friendships...ect to his daughter before his untimely death. Listen to nothing they say, and watch everything they do. Actions speak louder than words.

ALWAYS make the time for one another. Time isn't handed to us, we budget it. If your too busy, something is wrong. It can lead to a not so great place. We never check a calendar to consult if we have time for one another. And yes, we have busy lives as well.

I firmly believe in the rules of attraction in some manners, if your negative miserable, unhappy, depressed, bitter - don't expect to attract or keep someone of a healthy state of mind. Always be willing to work on things when needed, weather its yourself or the marriage. They aren't fairy-tales that just happen without work. Asking for help when needed isn't a sign or weakness, its a sign of strength!

Be the changes you wish to see. Set an example!

If it couldn't be saved. Don't live in a world of regret. You can't date regret. You can't date bitterness. Take the lessons learned from what they did wrong and what you did wrong and move on, with those lessons. You can't date bitterness either.

Don't be a control freak. Seriously. That is noooo fun to hang out with!

Remember what your kids are seeing, will more than likely be the pattern they attract to in life. That's a reality check. Is your marriage or relationship in tune with what you'd love to see your kids involved with later on? Yes! AWESOME! No? Work on it!

Take care of yourself. Don't spend so much time on everyone else that you forget yourself. If you have to ask if you look fat in these jeans, you probably do. If you don't, seek help. It's annoying to your mate. Your partner also doesn't want to look at you and wonder if you will be around 20 years from now because they love you and can't imagine a life without you. Prevent what you can!

Unconditional love. Learn to practice it. Love yourself. Love him / her. always. No matter what. (again unless its abuse!)

I could probably name a million more things that really help with making a happy marriage / relationship work, anyone else have some to add? I love great tips! There's nothing on this earth that I love more than God, My husband, and children.

It really boils down to treat him / her as you wish to be treated. If you treat one another in kindness, respect, and love - chances are you'll get that in return. If your negative, miserable, unhappy, or bitter - learn to let it go. Just let it go and move forward in a positive direction. One step at a time. Because you get back in life what you give. Don't play the why me card. Nothing is worse than hanging out with why me. Why not you? We all have trials. learn from them! Grow from them!

Take time to play and have fun! You will find us at our age, still, dunking each other in the pool, playing badminton in the yard, renting movies, just having fun! The shortest distance between two hearts is laughter. If your not enjoying and laughing together often, your greatly missing something. Work on it. I, in the past, got so caught up in the "responsible" side that I forgot how to be fun. I did have to work at it. Now its natural. We laugh all the time.

Here and there we text one another. Its nice to pick up the phone from your desk at work or while I'm cleaning and see "I love you!" or "I can't wait to spend the weekend with you!"

Now get out there and rock your marriage! (you may thank me for it later! he he!)